May angels lead you in...

o, i have decided to start writing a blog. (:
Oh gosh, here we go!
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Have you ever felt like you are screaming, and no-one can hear?
Like you are invisible and no-one notices you?
That somebody has their hands clenched around your throat-yet you are powerless?
These past couple of weeks have been a real eye opener for me, and i have learnt a hell of a lot.
1.) Don't take anything for granted.
2.) Enjoy yourself at every possible moment.
3.) Your family is precious--even if you do not agree with everything.
4.) It is okay to be down and upset, but its also okay to be happy and have fun.
i do not believe in the whole "Live every day like it is your last" bullshit, because to be honest, not only is that rather impossible to stick to that [every single day],but you should not have to think about things like that. Besides, doesn't everybody say that, and then proceed to grumbling about anything they can think of.
Death is a terrible thing, and people are often cruelly ripped away from us: it could be me next, right? Or maybe you? But that doesn't mean each day should be acted out as your last. Because that in turn becomes a waste of your life. Constantly looking over your shoulder; paranoid; when hell, you can just take each twist in life as it comes. Smile. Breathe. Do what you want to do.
When you think about it, how much do you take for granted throughout your life? All the little tiny petty things and the things that you don't even have to think about in your day-to-day living--as it comes so easily, like air; the essential things such as the clothes on your body, the sustenance that enters your mouth thoughtlessly to sustain you.
i have seen things through these eyes that will never be excused, never ever forgotten and definitely not forgiven. But you have got to make an effort to get along with people, but especially your family. As after all, they are all you have. 'Friends', yeah right. They leave you the very second you need them-well, not everyone...But maybe that just makes it harder as you become immune to it and get used to pushing people away: scared. In the end it is your family that can not desert you they have no choice but to be there through the tough times, and the fun times. You may not ever find it in your heart to forgive but you can still attempt to get along in order to make things flow more smoothly, to make your life more filled with happy memories, not shattered glasses and nights full of shouting.

The death of my Grandmother has proved to me that you need to have a good time and enjoy yourself: after all before long the end is there for us too. Francis was an inspirational person and a rock to my mother, along with all her other children and grandchildren. Such a kind, thoughtful women did not deserve to suffer, especially in the extremities that she did. If i ever questioned Gods existence, it is nothing to what is felt now. Where does religion get you at the end of the day? She never smoked, rarely drank, was healthy, done all she could for everyone around her: and went to church every week. But there is one thing i can be sure of, and that is the fact that my grandma's death will NOT have been in vain, she has taught me how too be a better person and to care for everybody around you. i am more determined than ever to make a difference in some persons life. If i can touch just one single person, i will die happy. i just hope i can make her proud of me.

Never said thank-you for that, though i might get one more chance
What would you think of me now?
So lucky
So strong
So proud
Never said thank-you for that
Now i'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in,
Hear you me my friends on sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

Thank-you.