Awake

For some reason, I have been finding it hard for me to sleep nowadays. There's a lot of pressure on me. First of all, I register for high school on Thursday. Big deal for me. So I found out I can take an AP class. My teacher is so relieved. Anyway, I also graduate in 45 days, not included breaks and weekends. It's actually really kind of scary right now.

For my entire life, I've been sheltered in a small private school. I've known everyone since I was five. I've grown up at that school. I've gone from queen bee to social outcast. Finally, things balanced out. I'm an average student with a lot of friends and two best friends. I haven't been expelled, suspended, or have gotten detention (unless you count the one that I wasn't SUPPOSED to go to; I wouldn't have had to go if my TEACHER WOULD HAVE FRICKIN TOLD ME BEFORE SHE LEFT FOR LUNCH!) in over a year. I'm finally in a good place with the guy I used to or still or I have no freaking idea if I like.

So I'm not like everyone else. I have an, ahem, rather more eccentric wardrobe than others. At least mine doesn't consist of all Abercrombie and Fitch. I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't obsess over that fact either.

Which brings me to my second topic. Girls I know date a boy just to say they dated him. What is this?! I don't get it. If I date someone, it will be someone that I know cares about me. One of my friends dates a guy because he freaking molests her from the back. Okay, he humps girls and inanimate objects on a daily basis. Doesn't mean he really likes you.

And girls in my class obsess about whether someones kissed a guy yet. I know first kisses are supposed to be "sacred" and "special", but lets not broadcast, okay? They made a list of "lip virgins", and I'm on it. Some people find it embarrassing, I find it degrading. Who wants to know if I kissed a guy or not? At least I don't kiss random boys for attention.

I can't wait to get out of school in some ways. The boys are boys. I don't get how some people can call them men. If I ever get more than six inches closer to one of them, then I see a mental image of that boy from when he was six and cried because of a thunder storm. One boy asked me for a hug, and started grabbing the back of my skirt.

Big no no. Okay, you do NOT feel up your friend's ass! No matter how close you guys have been since you were four! No matter how long your brothers have been friends! And certainly when you are a pervert! But then my best friend slapped him and all was well in the world.

So those are the current things keeping me awake. Hopefully now that I ranted about the whole middle school dating process, I can get some sleep.