Taylor Evan Simmons.

so, i was out tonight, partying. having a good time. My friends were around me, and it was all good. I couldn't be really happier in that moment. I was happier then i had been in the past few weeks after everything that i've been through.

but, i got a call, tonight. one that changes my world completely. one that differs from everything else in this world. the one person, that has been here for me? Even though he's been in the hospital himself? He's dead. Gone.

Taylor Evan Simmons is gone. He left this life, and everyone behind on March 20th,2009. A day that i'll never forget. Taylor was one of my best friends. He was an amazing person and always cared about himself more then other people. He was just recently in the hospital because of an car accident, and was still worrying about me more then he was himself. He had to have surgery, to correct a broken collarbone. but that was it, nothing too major. The doctors even fucking promised him a full recovery. told him and ME that he was going to be fine. THEY FUCKING LIED. He's gone. dead. not coming back.
Doesn't whatever fucking higher being there is think i've been through enough?? OBVIOUSLY NOT.

Taylor was an amazing person, he loved everyone. && he's the one that got me into Bring Me The Horizon. He's the one that bought me my ticket to TOC 2009, he's the one who protected me and my fractutred collarbone from the assholes trying to push me up against the barricades. He's the one that waited with me after the show, and stood there...grinning like a fool when i was talking to Oliver Sykes. Because he know I was happy, and that was his main goal. make those around him happy. I don't think i'll never know anyone like Taylor, because no one can really compare to him. Compare to the friendship that we had. even though it was shorter then some, i'll never forget the late night phone calls, or the times that he drove over to my house at one o'clock a.m. just so i had someone to sleep with because i was scared. I'll never forget driving down the road, blasting BMTH and having old ladies giving us dirty looks. i'll never forget sitting in his hospital room, and pushing his bed up against the wall so we could lay and look out that window at the stars, something he loved so much. Or, when the first time i ever met him, he took his pants off in front of me. Haha, good times. times that i'll never get back with him.

I never really thanked him enough for the things he did for me. I hope he knew that i loved him, and that i'm sorry i couldn't be there for him more. i hope he know's that he's still one of my best friends. and influenced me for the better. i just hope i can use those influences to make a difference in my life. to show him that i learned from him, and that i loved him more then anything else in this world. he was my best friend. always will be.

taylor, ily. and i hope you're in part of that damned star filled night that you always wanted to be a part of when you died. But, i didn't think either of us would have ever dreamed of wanting you to be a part of it this soon.

to those who have made it through this, i thank you. and hope you'll understand that updates won't be coming as fast as they normally would. and it's going to take some time for me to get back on track. thanks for understanding.