How the hell could I find a job?!

So... Today I woke up today and the first think that crossed my mind was that I have to find a job, because I'm kind of broke, or actually I'm totally broke and I seriously need a job, because my mum doesn't want to give me money anymore because she doesn't have it that much since that financial criss (I don't know how much does that influent on everything, but the workers in every company sure do feel it). So yes, I need a job so I can support myself.

But here comes the problems...
I went on the Internet to search for some supplies and I found some of them, but the problem is that I'm still doing school so I don't have that much time (but that doesn't influent that much really, because most of jobs are in afternoon), the second problem is that I don't have my own car because I don't have money for driving license (the irony) and the third problem is that I don't have experiences (at lest not that much) and everybody needs workers with experiences (irony?). So ye, here goes my job.

And that you try to publish an add, but they delete it, because you have to have some kind of activity or something (have no idea what that is) and yea, the last piece of hope is gone.

And can anybody tell me how could I find myself a job? And how to get money to support myself?!

And than everybody says: "Don't wine and get yourself a job!"
YEA RIGHT!!