It Hurts.

It hurts that you would say that.
It hurts how you constantly bitch about me behind my back.
Yeah, I know you'll read this, but I dunno. I don't know if I care anymore.
There's just so much you don't know, so much you don't understand.
I'm crazy about him. I love him. I love him so much it hurts not to be near him, it tears me apart when I have to leave him.
You're saying I'm 'up myself' since I started going out with him. I'm not. I'm really not.
I'm happy since I started going out with him.
But, you know, if I'm not allowed to be happy.
I wasn't trying it on with her, not in the slightest.
Just...no.
She sat on me, layed on me, fell asleep on me. Not the other way round.
That's just how her and I are around each other sometimes.
I act differently with all of my friends, and that's how her and I are around each other.
Yes, I did get off with her on New Years'. I was single, she was a bit pissed. It didn't matter what happened then.
But now...now I have him.
And he's changed everything.
If I ever cheated on him, hurt him in any way, I would seriously consider killing myself.
That's how much I love him.
I just want to know what I've done wrong that makes you change your mind about me all the time.
First you tell me you're in love with me.
At the same time you're bitching about me behind my back.
I don't know about this one, but it seemed like you were flirting with him.
And you're having a go at me online.
Acting like we're 'bffl' in school.
I just don't understand you.
To be honest, I'm sick of you.
But you're a mate, and I've lost so many mates in the past.
Some of them say you don't need me.
Well. A lot of them said that.
Maybe I don't.
I don't know.
I just don't know any more.
You're supposed to be my best friend, but you're stirring all this shit up.
She's my mate. I don't want to ruin things between me and her.
He's my boyfriend. I really don't want to ruin things between me and him.
I don't know.
Can't you see?
Can't you see how much I love him?