Murphey's law

I think it really is somthing when some person upstairs (god or whomever) or where ever it might be, making all that fate or what ever you want to call it that happens to people of a course of time or thought.

Let me first set the stage by saying i feel a longing for a certain person ^-^ but i can't seem to speak to them or to tell them all the things i want to say. Im not in love because i don't think i can fall in love with out truley knowing who this person is. Execpt for what i have discoved throught peity conversation. (which let me tell you is really nothing)

I keep thinking that they could maybe possibley feel the same way for me. But how could i know they never talk to me. And there are so many other beautiful people, i wonder if he knows they want him like i do. I wonder if he swings my way. And if not could i possibley change that. Probably not.

A side of me hopes and prays that when i look into his eyes he can see my soul through mine. Another part of me wants to erase my self from his vison. What a curse it is to have somthing like me want somthing like you. But im not all that bad. Just not good enough.

He was gone for a while, three weeks at least. People thought he was dead but i think he was just skipping...
when i stopped having dreams about us, I relised i should be done with it. So i promised myself I would let it go. That he would never 'see' me and that shouldn't bother me.

But then he shows up. People joke that he was dead. "Where were you?" the girls ask.

finally i work up enough courage to ask casually. "Hey, where did ya go?"

and he replyed,"No where."

I was completley confused but in a way i felt like he was trying to get away from somthing unknown that made me wonder who or what that could be. And why should i care. i said i wanted nothing more to think about.

Well i guess i broke my own promise to myself.