Yeah. I’m not celebrating Zombie Jesus Day this year. Jesus already has Christmas- he can leave my birthday out of this! Also, Shannon Doherty, Brendon Urie and any other famous person born on April 12th can step aside too. This is my time to shine.
So, fifteen years ago today, I made my first extremely loud, tearful début into the world. Actually, that’s not strictly true. The damn cord was wrapped around my neck three times when I was trying to make my way out, so really I came out blue and gasping weakly for breath. Recently I found the heart readout from my birth- my heart stopped about four times. It’s quite scary to behold. Imagine a world without me. Tragic, no?
Anyway, I’m another year older, another year wiser and all that crap. Haha- no, every year that passes, I seem to grow more immature. Only last night I was sitting in the back of a car with my friend accusing her ,through fits of giggles, of “sharting”. Plus, one of my birthday presents was a glorified doll. Yes- I now am the proud owner of a Batmouse. What is a Batmouse, you ask? Well… It’s a mouse. Dressed up as Batman. He is currently sitting by my bedside- that‘s where all the things I love are. I’ll have pictures later- along with my other gifts. Except for my video camera, because I’ll be taking all the pictures with that and if I try to get it to take a picture of itself, I’ll create a paradox. Then the universe will probably implode and everyone will be mad at me.
So- happy Zombie Jesus Day to you all. Enjoy yourselves, try not to explode in a fountain of brown goo from gorging yourselves on all that chocolate and don’t let Grandpa shoot the Easter bunny. Holiday icons don’t make good eating.
Happy birthday to me! (Screw you, Jesus. You have Christmas)
April 12th, 2009 at 05:13am