Fairytale or Illusion?

Life couldn’t be fairytale.
It’s just so complicated.

They say he’s my prince, so that means I’m his princess.
Then again, they say the other is my knight in shining armor.
Great. That makes me the damsel in distress.
Others say I should choose the prince charming.
‘Coz prince charmings are usually the one with happy ending.
Or because they live in a castle.
Or maybe because they’re rich or something.
Some say I should choose the knight.
‘Coz knights protect the damsels in distress.
Or maybe ‘coz knights are manlier than princes.
Or maybe the suits of armor look really cool.

Princesses are sometimes useless.
I hate that. I want to do something worthwhile even for just once in my life.
Most of them wait for some prince or knight to rescue them from their misery.
I hate that. I do not want to be rescued.
Most of them are cursed and they wait for the witch to lift the spell.
I hate that. Spells can be broken if you want to.
Most of their husbands are chosen by their fathers who are kings, and they have no choice but to marry some old geezer.
I hate that. I want to find love on my own.
Most of them cry out of hopelessness.
I hate that. Hope doesn’t run out, sometimes they just ignore it.
Most of them see love just by seeing the prince smile, or some just see love when the price is already dying.
I hate that. It’s so superficial.

Dresses and balls and princes and knights are all sweet and fairytale- like and unreal.

I want someone to protect me, not because I need to be protected, but because he wants to protect me. I want someone who sees me as vulnerable, and someone who feels the need to stay by my side just to see I’m fine. I want someone to assure me that everything will be fine, when everything just started to go wrong. I want someone who’ll embrace me to say he’ll stay through whatever. I want someone who’ll say I’ll be safe if I just trust him. I want someone who knows he could make me cry, but would never ever try. I want someone who holds my gaze, dances with me in the rain and someone who pulls me back even when I’ve pushed him away. I want someone who’ll search his entire kingdom and the entire world to search for me. I want someone who’ll take care of my heart. And someone who loves me more than any other prince could love a princess.

I want to marry someone I love, not someone chosen by somebody else. If I can at least do that, then I may not have the fairytale wedding, but I’ll have the fairytale ending.

And finally, I want a life that is my own.