Perverted jokes

Haha these are the funniest jokes/rhymes I could find.
I found them once again on google,
and my friend helped me find some.
Hope you like them!

***AUTHORS NOTE***
Crude humor follows PG13
& this is not my work.

Comet, it makes your mouth turn green
Comet, it tastes like Listerine
Comet, it makes you vomit
So go get Comet and vomit today!

Heidi's version]
My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher
We have broken every rule
We have shot the secretary and we hung the principal
Us brats keep marching on!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I hid behind the door
With a loaded .44
And she ain't my teacher no more!
[Dodger's version]
Glory, Glory, Hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler
I hit her in the butt
With a rotten coconut
And my teacher ain't my teacher no more.

Bobos, they make your feet feel fine
Bobos, they cost a nickel and a dime
Bobos, they're made by hobos
So get your bobos at Lobo's today

I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I ran over with the mower
One leg is missing, the other is gone
The third leg is scattered all over the lawn
No use explaining, the one remaining
Is lying by the cellar door
I'm looking over my dead dog Rover
That I overlooked before!

From the halls of (insert school name here)
To the shores of Bubble Gum Bay
We are fighting for our freedom
With spit wads, gum and clay
We are fighting for our recess
And to keep our desks a mess
We shall proudly claim our title
As teacher's number one pest

Do your balls hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Can you throw them over your shoulder
Like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?
(Second verse the same, just insert "boobs" for "balls")

Hello Mother
Hello Father
I've been smoking
Marijuana
Coke is good
Crack is better
I'm so f*cked up I can't finish up this letter

Roses are red,

Pickles are green

I love your legs

and whats between

Kissing is a habit

Fucking is a game

Guys get all the pleasure

Girls get all the pain

The guy says i love you

You believe its true

But when your tummy

starts to swell,

He says 'to hell with you'

10 minutes of pleasure

9 months in pain

3 days in hospital

A baby without a name

The baby is a bastard

The mother is a whore

This never would have happened

If the rubber wouldn’t have torn

Joy to the world, the teacher's dead
We barbecued her head
What happened to her body?
We flushed it down the potty
And round and round it goes
And round and round it goes
And rou-ound and rou-ou-ound and round it goes

Me Chinese,
Me play joke,
Me make pee-pee
In your Coke

Me Chinese, me play joke
Me go pee pee in your Coke
But that not the only naughty thing I do
Me pee in your lunch box too!

Miss Lucy had a baby
She named him Tiny Tim
She put him in the bathtub
To see if he could swim.
He drank up all the water
He ate up all the soap
He tried to eat the bathtub
But it wouldn't fit
Down his throat.
Miss Lucy called the doctor
The Doctor call the nurse
The Nurse called the lady
With the alligator purse.
In walked the doctor.
In walked the nurse
In walked the lady
With the alligator purse.
"Measles," said the doctor.
"Mumps," said the nurse.
"Nothing," said the lady
With the alligator purse.
Miss Lucy kicked the doctor.
Miss Lucy kicked the nurse.
Miss Lucy paid the lady
With the alligator purse.

On top of old smokey, all covered with sand;
I shot my poor teacher with a big rubberband;
I shot her with pleasure, I shot her with pride;
How could I miss her, she's forty feet wide;
I went to her funeral, I went to her grave;
I didn't throw flowers, I threw hand-grenades;
I blew up the city, I blew up the town;
I blew my poor teacher right out of the ground;
I took one look at her, she wasn't quite dead;
I pulled out a bazooka and blew off her head.
She's dead now folks!

Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"

Valerie's version]
This land is my land and only my land,
I've got a shotgun,
And you don't got one,
If you don't get off,
I'll blow your head off,
This land was made for only me.

It has been an hour or more
Since my jeans first hit the floor
As I sit upon the can,
Wishing I had eaten bran
Looking in the mirror I found
That my eyes have turned dark brown.

whistle while you work
hitler is a jerk
mussolini bit his weeny
now it doesn't work