What i think

well let me tell you something about me first before i go off on what this journal is really about. i used to alwasy joke about drugs and up untill easter weekend that has all but stoped. i have always found death to be a joking matter to me and my friends. i have never thought of doing drugs and i never plan to. i never realized how much you could think you know someone until they do something so terrible you realize you hardly knew them at all.

over my easter break i found out something i never thought that i would ever hear. it was easter morning i was doing what i normally would be doing watching tv waiting for everyone to get up. it was when my mom called me and my two other sisters into the living room that i was told my cousin jack had died the night before. it was also then that we were told that two months earlier he had been caught with drugs. he was going to counseling and they thought he was getting better. Well that couldn’t have been true. My uncle had found him on the floor of his room dead. The police came and everything; they found an empty bag of what they think to have been drugs. All of this my sisters and I were told, and the best part was we were going to have Easter with them in just a few hours.

The impact that it has done is truly killer. To have to go to you 17 year old cousin’s wake and funeral, when he is only a year older, then you. I have never seen so many people at a wake before I truly haven’t and my uncle, aunt, and his brothers all had to stand there next to the corpse having people say “I’m sorry” and all that stuff. It doesn’t make you feel any better. On the day of the funeral we were all there the family didn’t cry but everyone else did, my aunt really believes in her faith. When everything at the church finished we went to the burial.after the burial we all went to my other aunts house and had dinner I hung out with my younger cousin Tim and we ended up going for a walk. It surprised me how he could talk about he’s brother with such a straight face, he told me it was because he has come to terms with the fact that his brother’s dead. He also told me about what had happened the day they found jack and that the police had thought it was heroine that they found. The main reason that this has had such a huge impact other then the fact he was my cousin but the fact that my family and my uncles family is so similar that its scary now that I look at it.

Both have 3 kids around the same age, exact personalities: older ones, strive at school and really good at it. Middle, were (and one still is) moody and emotional good at art. And the younger ones, just plain goofy and always happy. The reason I’m writing this is because this is the effect drugs have had on my family and it’s not a pretty one. So I hope that people will read this and realize that drugs affect more than just you!