[/rant]

They just don't care. They don't give a flying fuck about how I feel, how much they hurt me when they pull shit like this. They think they have the upper hand, they think they still have enough left to hold over me to keep me in place.

They're wrong.

They've taken enough right that I wouldn't care if they kicked me out. It's almost happened before. I'm not afraid. And that's why I'll win. Because when it comes down to it, I've got the balls (metaphorically speaking) to do what they think I'd be too afraid to. I've got the guts, the gumption, the courage, the determination to get myself out of this little shithole if I have to. I don't really WANT to leave home yet, I'd like to make it at least to graduation. That way I can still go to college in the fall, I have the scholarship. I have enough savings to get me bus ticket up there and by the time my scholarship runs out, I'll be old enough to get a loan. So I'd really like to at least make it to graduation. But if I can't, I'll find a way. I'm smart enough.

So when then look down on me with their condescending eyes and tell me they've taken something else I care about away, I just stare back, blink away the tears that I can't help but cry, and I SMILE on the inside. Because while I may bend on some of the little things, they can only take it so far before I have nothing left to lose.

I can see that day already, and it moves a little closer every time I pull out that blade in tears, watch it hover above my pale skin, then put it back away, because they're not worth my pain.

They're not worth me breaking that promise. I've never cut, I won't do it. And they can't drive me to it.

When this all ends, I'll be the one left standing, no matter what I lose in the process.