Just A Random Rant. (Blog!)

Holy shiz I’m bloging D:

Its been god knows how long! Huh?
Anyways….

I really have no point into writing this, but I think it will help me clear some things up in my head. I haven’t really been able to talk about this with anyone cause it’s a ‘your to young’ thing.

I’m sixteen never been in love, or so I thought. And just warning you now this blog will just resort into me rambling on and on about how confused and how crazy things are in my life right now.

Lets start from the beginning.

About a year ago I met a guy, his name is Trever, we dated seven months, and through those seven months, he hurt me, I hurt him, but in the end we got back together and I was falling head over heals in love with him. Then the worst happened, I had to go back to Michigan and I had no idea how long I would be there, it devastated me, thought the break up was mutual, it still hurt, I had to say goodbye over the phone.

Over the next few months I had gotten into a new relationship with a guy named Mike, but that doesn’t matter. I had met a guy named Cody and became really close friends with him while I was in Michigan. He was just like me, carefree attitude, hyper, out going. After I had broken it off with Mike, Cody expressed his feelings for me, and I told him I would give it a try. Only problem… My parents wanted to go back to Florida. So there I was four months later going back to Florida.

While in Florida I stayed friends with Cody, and me and Trever started talking again. Long story short, me and Trever talked almost all night one night and decided to get back together, considering we had talked about, if I was to ever come back we would get back together.

Once word got out that I was back with Trever, my friends started realizing they didn’t want to be friends with me anymore all because of a guy. This tore me up inside, these people we’re supposed to be my best friends, yet they didn’t see how happy I was with Trever. Eventually I got scared of loosing my friends for good, and made a shitty decision and broke up with Trever. Trever’s exact words when I told him why I broke up with him were “If there forgetting about you just because of me, then they must not be your true friends!”. I should have listened to him.

Sure enough all my friends came back, everyone started talking to me again, but I wasn’t happy. I often found myself crying to get to sleep, or putting on a fake smile. The only time I was genuinely happy was when I was talking or texting Trever.

Four months of being in Florida again, something bad happened to our rental house in Michigan and we packed up and left for Michigan, for good this time. It didn’t hurt as much to come back this time.

Me and Cody started a relationship just as we talked about, and now that I’m in that relationship I realized we’re better off friends! Sure we’re a good couple, we don’t fight, or any of that. it’s the fact that we don’t TALK, like EVER! So here’s what I did, I tried talking to him about US, but no he told me “I don’t want you finding someone else.” Selfish much?

And what sucks, I don’t like him like that anymore. While Cody doesn’t talk to me…. Trever does, on a regular basis, me and Trever talk on the phone every night for at least two hours before I go to bed.

I have realized I am totally in love with Trever.

I feel like one of those stupid movies, I can’t see myself with anyone but Trever, I can see myself having kids with Trever. I just wish everyone else could see how much I care about him.

Everyone tells me I’m to young to know what love is. But when I think of love, all I think about it Trever.

My friends say I’m only like this because he’s my comfort zone. He makes me laugh when I’m sad, hell he makes me happy no matter what.

I think its safe to say I just might be unconditionally in love with this kid!