It seems to me like all my family, at least on my mom's side follow the same mold. Live off the state maybe every once in awhile have a job or use too. All they care really care about is the next bar night or the next party. They have morals, but none that they teach and they let them sip instead of making them a foundation in their lives. Than there's me who couldn't be more opposite from her family. I have very strong morals and beliefs which, I base my whole life around. I don't live off the state and am currently looking for a job and in not being able to find one is taking steps to get one. (Working at the red cross) I believe in God like some of my family, but actually show it and its changed my life. I don't live to just exist, but to matter in some way. My little brothers look up to me and for good reason they live in a different mold than the rest of my family to, but I fear for them. I fear my families' ways will influence them down the wrong path and that scares the hell out of me. I don't want them to be like my sister who has no good viture in her life. I want to see them graduate from high school and than collage just like they should. To grow up and be good and prospers men, not just another burden to society, but what can I do? They live so far away from me that I can't be there for them like I wish I could be. Than we have the other side of my family. (My dad's) They're well educated, have great jobs and wonderful families, have Strong morals and beliefs which, they teach to their children. My aunt taught me alot about life. She taught me that you have to work for what you get not just get handouts by pity and remorse. She also taught me that a home should be clean not because someone asks you to do it, but because a home is made for comfort. (A simple thing my mother never taught us without enforcement.) Though unfortunately I wish there were more Goodly and Godly marriage in my family, but there is none Godly and only two I know of that are good marriage. I have a few examples of what a Christan marriage should be in my life. My pastor and his wife who got married at 19 also and I look up to them. My sensei and her husband another example of a goodly and Godly marriage. My adopted grandma and grandpa they have a goodly marriage and partly Godly. It burdens me at times not to have that stronger influence. I mean who am I suppose to ask questions about marriage too? My mom and dad who are getting a divorce and don't want to accept God? My pastor and his wife, it would make sense, but I would feel to odd about it. My sensei? Another good idea, but still awkwardness. And its not like I can go and find another 19 year old married couple to ask them... I can read my bible, but how do I know where to look about things a Christian marriage should be built around? I know the basics, but what if my questions get deeper or I need a unique way to apply or unique way to understand it? I guess if the time ever comes which, I'm sure it will I'll just ask God for his understanding.
May 15th, 2009 at 11:53am