Human Emotion

I used to be quite strong and independant.
I used to be able to keep my feelings under control.
I used to be able to hide my emotions, at least until an appropriate time to show them.

I didn't used to cry very much.
I didn't used to get upset easily.
I didn't used to be such an emotional wreck.

I think the stress of GCSEs and coursework was the cause to be honest. Year 10, I was fine. I was happy and carefree. Come year 11, teachers started making a big fuss about the exams, and piling the coursework on. I'd often have several pieces to do, all from differant subjects, at the same time. So it wasn't surprising that the stress would get to me eventually. I ended up breaking down in the middle of a music lesson. My friend, Zoe, helped and comforted me, but even the teacher noticed, but because it was the last lesson of the day, school was soon over so Zoe and I ended up walking down to the moor to find my boyfriend. He was walking home with another of our friends, and being they nice people they are, they stopped and waited with us for half an hour or something, Matt just hugging me and cheering me up, and Jess keeping Zoe company. Eventually I was okay again, and I thought I'd be fine after that. I was stressed, I'd had a cry about it and let it all out, I'd be happy again.

Since then, I've kept getting upset about silly things, taking everything out of proportion subconciously. Even when I know full well it's nothing to get upset about, I still do. I can't help it. And then when the problem's been sorted, I'll still keep bursting into tears, just thinking about it, for the rest of the evening. For example, earlier my boyfriend made a joke, just something insignificant, but it annoyed me slightly because of the way it came out. Then I got upset, even though it was nothing, and as usual took it out on him. He says he doesn't mind; that that's what he's there for, but I still feel guilty. It's not fair on him, that I get upset and then end up unintentionally making him feel bad.

I feel a bit pathetic really...

And unrelated, why is there a search tags box for journal entires? Is it so people can search for everyone who's thinking about Metallica or chocolate or suicide or w/e? :S