Long time no hear....

I have been gone for too long my beloved Mibba people! Well i'm here to say this bitch is back and ready to write! Here's the catch-up.

Relationships
I am happily single. I have a few crushes here and there, but there is currently no one who I really want to sink my teeth into. (Haha) My friend Jessica tried hooking me up with her older brother Joshua, but he's was (this is very harsh) not exactly the most exciting person. Also, he didn't give me the feeling that I could trust him, he didn't talk very much, and he had to follow his friend's ideas on everything. Worst of all, he didn't like my "decision" to be bisexual. So he was out of the game before it started.
Then there was a friend of a friend, Shawni. Might I add that she is who officially made me understand who I really am. She's weird, outgoing, artistic, and so pretty. The only problem with this crush of mine is that she isn't bi or lesbian. So that ended before it started, even though I do catch myself looking at her often at lunch.
I talked to Dimitri (read previous journal entries) for ten minutes over a month ago. He is still an ass and mainly call to tell me that he didn't care about me and my ideas any more. (Uh no duh! I kinda figured that out when he broke up with me on Valentine's day!) The point of calling me then... I have no friggen clue.

School
I am failing my last marking period of freshman year. I refuse to do my (need to do as a requirement to graduate) research paper. It's due June 10, but the first rough draft (must be 1000 words) is due this friday, May 22. My outline (I don't understand the given format) is due tomorrow and I gave up on it. So I am f***ed.
I know I'm quite stupid for not doing the paper nor bother to even try to do it, and I know I'm losing much respect from my readers by not doing it, but I give up on school to be honest. I have no goal to work for, no career plan, no "Where do I plan to be in 5 years", I'm blessed with everything I could ever ask for, yet I'm still a failure. I give up. I agree with my mother: I am a selfish, ungratefull, loser. Who would have ever guess that I would ever agree with on anything?
Back to school. I was assigned to read and mesmorize a speech from Julius Caesar by Shakespeare for my English class, I would then have to deliever this speech to my class. I read and mesmorized the speech, but I didn't deliever the speech like I was supposed to. I knew the whole speech inside and out! I got up in front of the class room and started, but after the first line of the speech i jumped to the sixth line. I tried to start over, but my mind was blank. I got so angry that I just gave up. I read the ENTIRE speech from the book. We were not suppose to go up and read from the book or straight from notes or else fail. Guess who failed because of their stupidity?

Therapy
I now see a counselor once ever three weeks to four. She is a blibbering idiot. Instead of me talking and her listening it's the other way around. Also, all she is focused on is why I started going to therapy; because I used to cut and have suicadal thoughts (dear mother also threw that in my face when we had that agruement where I actually agreed with her). She doesn't attempt to know me or the reason(s) why I feel the need to cut. She talks the whole hour about ways to making the best out of all situations. It is useful, but that's why I go to (till mother dearest pulled me out because we can't afford it any more) group therapy!

Other than that my life has been about the same. I'm still happy, outgoing, weird, wanna-be talented in anything, and dorky. I still have my horrible days along with my bad days along with my okay days. I'm just trying to enjoy life more, I guess.

So mibba readers, how have you been?

:D