Just One Of Those Days

I know that we've all had them. Just one of those days that you just don't seem to fit in. Right? It feels like all of your emotions came off of their leash. And it's that time when you find the wrong in anything and everything. It could have been the best day of your life, but it turned out to seem like the worst. Like one wrong word or one wrong action of somebody else or even yourself will seem like the end of the world.

Like today for me. Okay, so some of it may be PMS, but I know that it runs deeper. Overwhelming and saddening and angering...and loneliness, all bundled together.

Overwhelming: School 5/7 days a week for nine hours with stupid teenage drama that I could live without, as well as the actual school work. Working at a fast food restaurant, McDonald's, anywhere from 2-4 days a week. This week it happens to be four. It may not seem like a lot, but you try doing it, as well as the hastening of teachers to get you prepped for a state test you know you are going to fail.

Saddening: I have days of sadness, I know I do. Like today for example. I guess the word to call it would be morose? Correct me if I'm wrong, because I just learned that word from a teacher. It hurts, because when I'm sad, I can't get unsad. Apparently no matter how hard I try to hide it, it's like the covering is transparant. Everybody could see how upset I was, even a teacher that doesn't even teach me. Anybody care to explain that to me?

Angering: One of those feelings that seem hard to control. Like when you're loud as shit and then tell me to shut the fuck up. Like when you hate my guts for no apparant reason and spread rumors about me and then think that I'll let you copy my homework and steal my shit. Like when you're a two-faced bitch who thinks she can get away with anything. Like when you're an asshole who can't shut the fuck up and calm it down. Like you just found out that your mother has a Mibba account and is trying to find your writings. And definately like you lost your one place that you feel safe in the world. A lot like betrayal.

Loneliness: Ever had that feeling of being all alone while being in the middle of a crowd? Yeah, pretty much sums up my life; especially at school. If I don't have one of my 3 best friends with me, I lose it. I feel lonely and depressed and out of it. Like I don't matter. And like so many other things. It feels like everybody is trying to stab you in that back and make you feel the most unwelcomed that is possible. Like no matter how hard you try to protect yourself, there will always be a place that they can hurt you. "The Only Thing That's Worse Then One Is None." -Linkin Park Sometimes I don't know how true that may be. It seems sometimes that the only thing that's worse then none is one.

But enough with rantings, I just had to get all of this stuff off of my chest before I did something regretful. : )