Losing Control (And My Mind)

Sorry, just need to rant a little. I've already complained about my crappy sleep to a few people so I'll omit that here.

But what's driving me really insane at this point is my over-eating. I'm sorry to whine and moan about my lack of control but it's so hard.

I keep eating, I don't know what to do to stop. This is my last ditch effort, maybe writing about it, getting it off my chest will help at least a little. I don't know.

I'm so tired and I'm so sick of feeling like a pig. I mean I'm proud of myself for losing weight. I used to be 225 pounds and then I managed to get down to 165. I got stuck there, but I could handle it because I felt healthier and happier and I figured given time I would continue losing weight. But then, I don't know what happened, stress took over and within a couple of months I'm back up to 190.

I just don't know what to do. It's like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers says (God, I can't believe I'm referencing Fat Bastard) -- He eats because he's depressed and then he's depressed because he eats. Lol... except not. *~*

It's got such a hold on me, I just want it to loosen its grip and free me. I want to look and feel better. Which of course, makes me feel kind of guilty and shallow.

I don't know... that's got to be the tenth time I've said it, but I really don't. I'm so frustrated. Well, peace for now.

I'm going to try to calm down and not stuff my face. Wish me luck, lots of it.

*Stalks off miserably*

~Adriana