My Best Friend, My Worst Enemy,...My Sister

I don't really understand my sister. We are always together, like conjoined twins, and we would go together all the time. But then, sometimes, she can be a real bitch to me. I guess its because she is almost fifteen years older than me that she thinks she has power over me.

We shared a room together for the last eight years. It surprises me that she hasn't moved out yet; her being thirty-one years old already. I would copy her; how she fixed her hair, how she did her make-up, how she talked. I don't know; it's because since I thought she was more experienced than me then maybe if I copied her, then I would do it right.

Of course, this angered her. She would always be upset when I use her shampoo, her make-up, her comb. It seems that everything I do angers her. Well, I don't know if using her shampoo is wrong, I mean i always put it back where it belonged and I always do put a little. Well, anyways, I get sad when she gets angry at me. Sometimes, she gets angry at me for something that happened some time ago.

She has personal problems and I think that she blames it on me because I am her disturber. Well, I share the same room with her, so basically I have no choice but to just live with her. But over the past eight years living in the same room with her really made me into the person I am now today. She teaches me things and gives me advice and feedback so that I could be well prepared for the future. She buys me things that I need such as school supplies and all. Really, I am grateful to her. I sometimes just wish that she would treat me with a little respect when she gets angry.

She will never know how much I love her, she will never know how much I cry in the past for her. But I will not cry anymore just because I want her to treat me better. I know that I am stronger than her, both physically and mentally. She acts like shes a teenager; trying to find herself out there. I don't know her, I don't really trust her.

Are sisters best friends as well? Do they tell their sercrets to each other and always laugh and do stupid things together? I believe they do...but my sister...I don't think so. Is it because shes very older than me that we have alot of differences and alot of fights? I believe so.

She will always be my sister, the bestest friend anyone could ask for. But she still is my enemy because she will always look me down, as if I was trash, as if I'm useless, like I'm nothing, and she doesn't really support me, only brings me down and down furthur until I startedt o believe in her, that I am useless and that I am what she call me; a girl who doesn't take responsibility, who does't understand, who doesn't do anything but cause trouble and be in her way.

Well, I'm sorry, Karla. I'm sorry for copying you, I'm sorry for being in your way, I'm sorry that I make you mad and believe me I didn't mean to make you mad. I guess this will always be a problem until I am an adult, or at lest prove to her that I am acting like one and being like one, an adult.

Well, no matter how things will go, I will still love her. She is my sister, my only sister in the world. Without her, I will loose my other half of me. She is my other half of me as I am a half of her. And for that, she's my best friend, my worst enemy..my sister.