Gonna KILL my mom....

Im Fucking PISSED at my mother. I could quite literally hurt her. This may not seem like a big deal to any of you, but if you've fallen into a drug pattern..maybe you'll understand.

I've had EVERYTHING taken away from me, my pills, my car, my friends, everything. No one trusts me and no one will listen. I know its my fault, all I need is my second chance. Anyways I have chronic back pain and Im not allowed ANYTHING. Not even ibuprofen. FUCK.

BUTTTT today, my mom had knee surgery, and this is whats killing me. SHE HAD ME PICK UP HER OXYS#$%@%$^!!!!! I DONT THINK PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THE RESTRAINT IT TAKES. NO ONE EVEN FUCKING KNOWS. Im shaking so hard and all my thoughts are directed to these pills.

I dont want to be sober.

Fuck.