pent-up for so long..bout time i let it out..

I am mad for so many reasons.

For my mom...never understanding how hard it is for me having to grow up with her only physically...because her mind and her heart is always somewhere else.

For my dad...being selfish and not helping anybody...his health is getting worse because he isn't losing weight...

For my brother...never being here at all...always too busy with his girlfriend...at least she's nice to me...

For my sister...always getting what she wants and more...but still never being contented and having to be rebellious...

For my friend, Tintin...for not treating me like a friend and not talking to me...it's almost two months and school is about to start...

Christine...for disappearing just when I need her most...for never being there for me anymore...

Michelle...for trying to pretend that she understands how I feel when she doesn't even know my life story...

Kevin...saying he loves me but makes it more awkward for me to talk to him like a normal person...does he always have to make me feel guilty???

Rigel...for never really understanding MY side of the story...

♥Felix...for still having her pictures...for not asking me if I was okay...for never wiping away the tears...for never finding ways to spend time with me...for not saying he loves me anymore...for using me as a pity fuck...

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Most of all...I'm angry at myself

for never being comfortable in my own skin.

for lying to everybody just to make them happy.

for never standing up for myself.

for cutting AGAIN.

for being so ANTI-SOCIAL.

for falling in love with a guy that still loves my best friend even though he's already my boyfriend.

for believing him when he says he loves me.

for always letting people step on me.

for crying.

for never screaming.

for showing my weakness.

for not showing emotion.

for holding this all in.

for cracking.

for breaking in the inside.

for hoping that my stories could make me feel better when they REALLY don't.

for hoping even when I know it's impossible.

for influencing others to cut.

for being influenced by others to smoke, sex and drinking.

for being such a fuck-up.

for doing all the wrong things when I already know what the right thing is.

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Sorry....just needed to let it out..