I won't be perfect!

I hate my life to the breaking point. I have so many friends in so many different cliques, that I can't keep up with anything! I bend over backwards for everyone I know and for what? Utter disrespect and underappriciation. I strive for acceptance in people I care about and everyday I look forward to failure. I come home to a mother who nags and bitches and never says thank you or good job. My father has no time to put up with my "non-sense". Yeah, because he's Mr. Collage Man and Mr. I've Got A Job, he never has time for me. He's never pleased with anything I do! I considered joining the Airforce for him and he was utterly delighted! I really want to go into the Arts, writting and photography and such not. My little sister drives up the wall. I have to be her role model and ---UGGH! She does the opposite of whatever I try to set for her! My older sister is never around when I need her and I seem to need her more now that she's moved out. "Do as I say, not as I do." she says to me, but how can I do do what she doesn't, when I even see her? The pressures of High School hit me like rush hour traffic to point that I've tried to KILL MYSELF! I've attempted to hang myself, slah open my wrist, overdosed, run into traffic, and other means of suicide. The only thing that really got me thriugh was music. Music is another language that I use to cope.