Diary of Depression

I feel really depressed suddenly. It seemed to start yesterday when I read The Bell Jar for the first time and felt like I connected with Esther (apart from the attempted suicide bit). I have the urge to write it all out but I dont want to put it on my blog coz I actually know the only two people who read that and for some reason I cant be bothered to tell anyone in real life about my sudden depression. Its probably because Im not really depressed or something. I just feel so bored and tired, I think its coz I need a change of scenary, luckily my dad is picking me up on sunday to take me home :]

I feel so alone, even though both my housemates are in, I just cant be bothered to talk to them. One, because they never really listen and I know for a fact one of them would make it all about her. And two, because Im not very good at talking outloud to people about my feelings.

I even managed to squeeze out a few tears of self-pity a bit earlier. Crocodile tears for sure. I dunno why I feel so sorry for myself lately. Just the other day I was dancing round my room in the dark with my ipod blaring. Now I cant even be bothered to move.

My new favourite song, Doped Up Dollies - Big D and the Kids Table is on radio1's punk show right now and its not even chearing me up.

I noticed that I binge too. I binge eat, I binge drink, I binge shop and I binge mood (if thats a type of binge).

Anyway I felt I had to write this somewhere except in my head. And on here I dont think many people read these so I felt it was the most diariest place to write it seeing as I dont own a diary anymore