6/2/09

My thoughts on today :(

the ashes of my memories have blown away with the wind, as my life burns up with the hatred and depression; caused by the "traitor". the shadow is my only haven for my depression, repressing and hiding the horrors of the lies fed to me in my every day life. the piercing needles of pain are not physical, they never were, and never will be; they're pushed into my mind, causing the emotional torture that drives me past the edge and into the pit of endless abyss. i wish i had Alzheimer's, so i may forget some of the memories we had together, the horrible, and the worst. i just wish that we could be together, forever, as the sands of time fall into the sand dunes.

now, i wonder if all of this is even real, if time is real, physics. there is all proof that there is something, but how can we prove it's real? how do we know that this isn't all just a dream, and after this dream, we really wake up; in a different dimension. and once again, if that's true, how do we all know that the pain is real? in truth, everything is just a theory, another object, another math problem to be solved. if this is any at all correct, how may we define love and hate? love and hate are intertwined, every other emotion is just another form of love. hatred is the un-love or something, or loving something more; therefore hate = love, and lf that's "true" then the world may never be truly at peace with each other. feel, emotion, thoughts, all of these could be lies.

sorry if they're jumbled, i just typed up what i wrote down :(