This just isn't me.

I've been feeling strange lately.

Like, I've been being horrible to everyone. I don't mean to be, it's just been all I've known for a while.
I'm constantly putting down others and going into rants about things that haven't really bothered me before now.

I feel sick and tired all the time. Usually I'm a pretty happy person.
I feel the pressure behind my eyes, like I need to cry, but I haven't yet.

I'm all about being a strong girl, but I just can't do it anymore.
I feel so weak, and tired, and just done.
I'm done with how I'm living.

I hate myself in some ways, for being horrible, and for who I am.

I'm usually not the type of person to look back, and wish and want, but I have been lately.

I have most things people would kill for, but I still feel like I'm being ripped off.

I don't know what's going on with me anymore, and that's the worst feeling. The feeling of not being in control of who you are.

Maybe it's just because I've been stuck in a rut lately.
I've done the same thing for 3 weeks straight.

I miss my girlfriend. We haven't spoken more than two words in the last 4 days, and I miss her.
She wont even tell me what she's doing, and I'm completely jealous for no reason. I don't even know what she's doing, and yet I feel my green skin showing.

I can't even find joy in the simple things anymore.
Like, my sleeping kitten next to me would usually make me light up with happiness and wonder to this world.
I look at her, and want to throw her outside.

I don't know what's wrong with me.
I don't want to feel like this anymore.