I'm willing to become a geek for the next four years of my life to get a scholarship to Princeton

I'm not completely sure if that's possible, but we'll have to wait and see.

I just graduated the 8th grade. (Proud Feeling)
My grades aren't terrible, but they aren't as perfect as I want them to be. I am one of those people that is naturally smart so I never study for a test, never really pay attention 'cause I know everything, but without just a little effort on my part, I won't be able to get a perfect score. I always end up getting 80's and sometimes 70's but that's it.

That's something I've never fought for. I've never really fought for anything. I'm not a spoiled or anything, but my dad just gives me everything I need and most of the time what I want. We aren't rich either, and my dad is on the verge of losing his job, but he always tries his best to give me whatever I need and never makes me work for the things I want. What I really want is to be able to work for the things I want. I like being independent and stuff but I've thought about this lately, I'm just like...If i want to be independent, I have to work for the things I want to be able to pull it off.

And that is exactly what I want to do in high school. I don't want to be consumed in any drama and I want to try extremely hard.

Eighth grade was the first year that I started getting Honors and Advanced classes and they weren't hard at all, but next year I'm taking AP World History, and it's said by many people that it's hard. My History teacher this year was absolutely horrible, and we learned absolutely nothing.

I'm terribly scared for this class, but I'm also trying to keep my negativity out and just thinking positive. But that's kind of hard when you enter the school's website and you find a link to the "projects" AP World History has to do over the summer. I mean, seriously? It's summer for crying out loud!

This summer I was really hoping to do something different than to just slack around every day. I was thinking of getting a job, but with conditions lately, who would actually hire? Then I thought Community Service, but the number I was given doesn't work and I don't know of any other place. But when I saw those assignments, I was just like, I might as well enjoy my last summer stressed-free of anything because I was hoping to do my Community Service the three upcoming summers after this one, and I figured I would have to get a job at least by the second summer with these conditions.

This takes me to my next thought...It's true what people say about childhood not lasting long. I mean, I'm not trying to grow up so fast, but everything just sort of grows on it's own. I figure since I'm 14 and conditions in the world aren't so great, I might have to get a job soon, even though while my dad still has a job it won't be necessary, but it's kind of nice to have my own money. I hate asking my dad for it and there are so many things I want. Like lately I've wanted a new paint for my walls because lavender looks too old already. I've also wanted a DVD player, since my old one broke and enough money to go to CVS and print out all the pictures I have on my computer and put them on photo albums which I also want to buy.

My dad says to just don't worry about things for now because later on in life things will be difficult and it's just better if I focus on school because it's whats going to make my college life easier, therefore making the rest of my life much easier. I trust him, which is why I'm already stressing out about 9th grade even though school ended just 3 days ago. I am trying really hard not stress out and just work out this summer to lose a couple pounds, read a few thousand books, go to the beach but not get too much sun (don't want to get skin cancer) and whatever comes up, like Tuesday I'm going to act out a show with my step-sister and step-mom and we are each getting a $100 for it. It's a start, even though I'm not great at acting.

Besides everything, I'm still trying to be confident in myself, and (hopefully) trust myself to try as hard as I can next year to make it to Princeton, and if it's not Princeton then Harvard, but I'm trying not to hurry to much, I still don't even know what I want to be. So many options (as long as I try really hard in school) and so little time.

(Kind of relaxed, a little scared)
-Chelen.