I stole.

True to the title of this entry, I stole.

I've never been so ashamed of myself.

It happened last friday. Me and Lainey went to the grocery store next to our school before the bell rang and we looked at all of the magazines. I bought one and she bought one, but I ripped a Tokio Hotel poster out of another magazine and put it in the magazine I bought. I didn't get caught, I mean, it's just a silly poster. But telling my mother the truth killed me.

I know it's not that big of a deal, but my mother gave me so much hell for it, I lost my sanity, if there ever was any. I've never stolen, I've never cheated, I've never done anything like that before, and I was so disapointed in myself.

I cried my eyes out in the car as I talked to my mother, and cried when I got home. I told my father and I knew he was disappointed in me. Miraculously for me, I didn't get grounded. My mother took me back to the store so I could buy the altered mag. We got home and she told me not to throw it away. I went into my room and took out the Tokio Hotel poster and stared at it.

Now any of you that really know me, you know that I love Bill so much. I really, truly love him more than anything, and sometimes, it just breaks my heart since I know for a fact that it's never going to happen.

But never once have I been so pained to see Bill's face.

I couldn't help but think about what he would say if we were together. I mean, it's just a fucking poster and it shouldn't have hurt this much, but... I don't know.

I never cried that much looking at Bill.