It will bother me if I don't get this out before I go to sleep.
Long story short for those...who actually care and continue reading this journal.
Dated a boy for the first time, for about 4 months and had been really close friends for the two months beforehand. And I can honestly say that I loved him. He was my first boyfriend, the first person who made me feel...like I mattered more than I felt. Who never looked to sex as a solution and who cared about me so much to the point that it hurt. I'd never felt that way about anyone. Broke up with me about three months ago, said that he took his "I love you" back because he only thought he meant it at the time...and has pretended that I meant nothing to him...and that we're complete strangers.
So I go on Facebook, randomly, maybe not even an hour ago to find that he had posted up a few statements that irked me.
Seriously, somebody date me from like july to september and then we can break up hastily just in time for me to get "too busy with college.. and stuff".... so who's in?
If you want to fall in love with me this summer, text me - ***-****
British girls...date me.
Seriously? Are we back in middle school? Are you kidding me?
Am I over-reacting on this? Or does seem childish to anyone else?
I wanted to be his friend but he's ignored me and posted stuff like this for months as if I was some girl at his disposal. What the hell? I know he cared about me at one point. I know he didn't lie to me.
But really?
He couldn't give less of a sh*t about me if he tried to. This hurts..a lot more than I am willing to admit. I wish I didn't care about him anymore like he doesn't about me. I really do. But I just can't. I don't understand why that is. All I wanted was to say good-bye to him before he went off to college. He won't let me. He won't talk to me. And apparently, we're just...complete strangers now. He's able to go to my fifteen year old brother and explain why we broke up and yet he can't be a grown-up and come speak to me about it.
It's pissing me off and all I want to do is be away from him.
I'm not sure if all the happy memories I have with him were worth this agony I went through for months.
Gosh, this makes me not want to understand why people put others through pain. I don't want to know why he did this to me because I know some of these things were intentionally put out there to hurt me. I don't get it and I'm starting to wish that I will never understand it and just get on with my life.
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