Pressure and Perfectionism

There is so much pressure. I feel like I have to get straight A's, be the perfect daughter, and not get looked down upon by my peers. All at the same time. I don't know how there is enough time in a day. I don't want to be a perfectionist. Why do I even bother trying so hard if it never gets me anywhere? Sometimes I just wish that I had the will power to be able to blow off a school assignment and fail and NOT CARE. That's the part that I would want the most. I don't want to care. I think that might show me that my perfectionism can be in my control. However, I physically can't do that. I can't fail. I couldn't let myself. I would be afraid that it would get out of hand and that I might not be able to stop failing. This is another of my problems. Worrying. There are always two sides to a "what-if":
What if it did happen?
What if it didn't?

My therapist read this and was really confused at me. She couldn't get why I wanted to fail. And I guess I don't really, but I want to not care if I did.