Epiphany

So, I have wholeheartedly decided that i want to have a relationship this summer.
It was sort of a thought pushed out by a tarot card reading.But still it has pretty much wrapped my brain. i have decided I need to stop being shy it has gotten me nowhere. And being completely insecure has done less then helped my self esteem.
All my past relationships have just been reasons to use people.

As sad as that sounds its really true. I was talking with my friend today and she was saying how much it rocked being in a relationship with somone. I know that having somone really like you for being... who ever the hell you are, is such a high. It gives your life a new surge of energy. A purpose. I have been single too long and i have been using people to much. So as of now, I am ready to commit, to have purpose that is more then self-fulfilling.

Today I got up the urge to talk to a boy that looks like the ones i always draw. I finally worked up the courage to talk to him (after practically stalking him ._. ) And he ended up being pretty cool. He was into heavy metal and was in a band.
he was pretty nerdy but in a good way :) I was so proud of myself for working up the courage to talk to him that it made my whole day!

I strongly recommend it to anyone who hasn't done it yet. I mean, I felt so incredible after i did it! I don't even care if i ever see him again! Just that I worked up the confidence to talk to somone. Now here is the moral of the story:

#1] Using people makes you feel empty, there isn't any natural high in phony love songs.
#2] Being confident is the new black. Wear it bitches.

Peace.