I hate this when you're so close to someone and than you have to tear them from your life. All that time that you spent with that person than becomes empty and meaningless and eventually a part of your life you don't want to look back on, but you will because that's just what your mind does. And when you do, the warm feelings you once had are no longer there, but only feelings of coldness and misery and you think about the times that were once feeled with warmth and than you become so confused and so angery all over again. Than wwe burry it deep into our hearts that evantually becomes apart of our soul and we can never get rid of it. Therefore, always carrying somethinhg so deep inside of us that it's apart of us. We try to run and hide from that fact. We do our best not to face it, but we know, we know it's there and than from there it becomes a monster, a pirson, it becomes everything evil and vail and we're it's pisoner. At frist, we think nothing of this, but time grows and the wounds grow and before we know it and after it's too late it's envolved into this hideouse creature know only to us as our innerself and we hate it with all of our being that it's us. So, we drown it out with anything we can music, drugs, achool, sex, eating, ect. Then we become even more blind to who we are and what we're doing we don't see the people we're hurting we can only see that deep hurt, that deep betryal that made us into the monster it is. Thus, we fill ourselves with it, morpying becoming it and it all happens without us notcing. So, oneday, after avioding it for so long, we look in the mirro and are abhored at the person looking back at us and we look and we say [i}"Who is this person?" That single thought makes us realize we have become something we're not and with it we find somewhere deep in our hearts that we don't want this. So we reach out, we search, we seek, and we do everything to reach for help and sometimes there is an angel who reaches out their hand and picks us up and takes us into a life that is like a dream, but for the rest who are given no such grace their hearts harden and become stone. They, become the angery and the vengeful and they just want the grace that was denyed to them... So you may say there is bad people in the world, but that's a lie what is true is that there is hurt people in the world you've never recovered from that hurt.
June 13th, 2009 at 01:44am