Top Ten Reasons Why Sasuke Left the Village

10. Contrary to popular beliefs, his sexuality was constantly being questioned after the "kiss" that he and Naruto shared.

9. If he heard Naruto say "Believe it!" one more time...he was gonna mutilate the blonde in a true Itachi fashion.

8. Fangirls. Period.

7. His sensei found no problem with sticking his fingers up someone's butt.

6. His teammates had no problem with having a sensei who stuck his fingers up someone's butt and one of them even copied him. Sick freaks.

5. The village held too many reminders of his past--the clan massacre, Itachi beating his butt in front a frog sage, that wretched "kiss", Naruto having to save him from a snake man, watching Naruto eat, watching Naruto dig in his nose...watching Naruto eat his own boogers...*twitches then shivers* ugh

4. The village was attacked by a huge three-headed snake while he and his teammates fought the "Sand Man" from the Sand village...it was time for a change of scenery.

3. He got his butt kicked by the Spider Man reject and friends...he could never show his face again.

2. His sensei constantly read books that he highly suspected to be porn novels.

1. Sakura's soap opera-styled confession of love--that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

And for the above reasons, he doubts he'll ever be able to go back.