LOL @ I'd like someone to review my new story.

Hi, so I have a new story [as mentioned in previous journals] and I'd love to have some reviews on it.
I don't want "OH I LUFF IT" or "It's SO good" reviews,
I want a decent review that tells me what i can improve on, what I should do and what I shouldn't do with my story.
There's only two chapters in the story so it's not that much to read. However, the chapters could be considered long to some.
It won't kill you to read, I swear.

If you review my story I'll review one of yours the best I can.
Sounds fair, right?
The story I'd love for everyone to review, is calling "Falling into your gravity."

Thanks!