Imagine if your daughter gave you this...

Dear Mom,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with him and he is so nice even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion mom, I'm pregnant and Scott said that we will be very happy.

He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.

Scott taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Scott can get better; he sure deserves it!

Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Some day I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your daughter...Rachel

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Alex's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card which is in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.