7/2/09 Acting on Impulse.

Dear God, I love that boy but must it be so difficult?

Why must you have this urgency to act on impulse? Your lack of premeditation is ruining your life, and inadvertantly.. mine. I can't comprehend why you have such an inabilty to anticipate consequences. You have such a sensation-seeking trait, that you feel risky actions will always over rule thought out answers.

I can't understand why you find a solution in physical force against yourself, and other objects. Your expression of physical force against yourself and others is ridiculous. I'm not sure what compells you to damage and destroy property, and above that.. yourself.

You manipulate yourself into hating your father, and everything about him. I wish that you could learn to cut ties with the past and accept the fact that I went through the same thing.

Supressing anger until you feel so built up that you start swinging fists without concern for anything else is so absolutely ridiculous. I'm so concerned that one day your aggression with be taken out on someone to the point of serious injury, and that's not okay.

I wish you were more cooperative, I wish you could let people relate to you, I wish I could tell you these things.

But more than anything, I love you.