Suicide Notes

If someone killed me than I wouldn’t mind because I would see it as it’s my time to die.

I wouldn’t care if I died because it would probably be better than putting on a show of happiness everyday when im just miserable.

I hate friends because they worry about me, I love them because they care,
I hate them because they are the only reason why I’ve never killed myself even though I have attempted a few times before
All I could think about while I was trying was how I would be letting them down

I feel the need to always be the one that friends come to when they need help even if im insanely stressed myself

I can never let a person into my world,
Not even give them a small peeping whole because they will either; go down with me, feel that they caused it, or their feeling will change in a bad way and I will be hurt once more...

I can’t tell anymore people that I have pdd (pervasive developmental disorder) a type of autism…

The people that know me think that Im a happy person, but they don’t really know me because im a very bored and depressed person

It hurts to look back because all I see is the pain and suffering that had made me the person I am today

Im scared to look to the future because im afraid of what I might do

And when I look beside me, even though I see people that care, I still feel lonely without you.