My Kitten Stubby just died.

My kitten Stubby has been on and off with sickness lately, and today it got to him. He was only four months old, and he was my baby. This past week he was acting very lethargic and odd. A few hours ago he started havingproblems breathing, so we grabbed his carrier, his favorite scarf, then drove to Petsmart.

The whole drive there he was gasping and meowing, it was fucking scary. My sister and I were crying because this has happened before to another cat of ours named Cookie. While we were driving I noticed that his gums were white and his mouth was very dark. When they took his temperature they said he was so cold it was unreadable and that he was dehydrated. They couldn't do anything there for him so they told us to go to a different place, they would call them and let them know we were on our way.

He kept gasping and meowing for air. We get to the new place and they take him in the back. My mom grabs my hands and tells me.

"Mariah, if they can't do anything that will for sure take care of him, what do you want to do?"

I'm not a selfish person, and I don't want my baby to go through anymore pain, so I tell her that we'll put him down. The nurse takes us into a room where we talk to the doctor. She's talking about kitty Luekemia, or kitty AIDS. Then, another doctor pokes her head in and asks if we can do CPR on him cause he isn't breathing.

I start crying hysterically so I'm not sure what they said, but then our doctor asks if I want to see him. I say yes. We go back there and he isn't breathing. They let me hold him, and the doctor checks his heart beat, she told me it stopped.

So here I am balling my eyes out still holding him in my arms, and the people who work there look like they're gonna cry too. I take Stubby back to the roomand tell my family that his heart stopped. My older sister runs out of the room crying saying that she couldn't look at him. Poor girl.

I didn't want his ashes, I didn't want to know when they were going to be spread either. But they gave me this thing of clay with his name and paw print on it. It's baking in the oven right now.

Stubby was the sweetest kitten, and he was my baby. I loved him with all my heart, and at the moment I want to scream, kick, punch random objects. But me being me, I wont. I'll just sit here and try not to cry.

Now a lot of people say, "I don't want your sympathy." But I do want it. My baby is gone and absolute complete strangers saying sorry to me is what I want.

Good bye Stubby, we're all gonna miss you.
Picture of Stubby and I