I've had enough of what I've been putting myself through.
For so long, I've been worrying and fretting over what guys thought of me. Worrying over if I'll ever like someone again, getting pissed off at them, and myself. For not wanting me the way I wanted them. For not loving me.
I've decided... I'm quitting here. I'm not caring. I'm turning over a new leaf, a new me. Loving my body for what it is, doing what I want, for me. I've abused my body. It's time I give it what it deserves.
Soo.. this weekend, I'm cutting, and bleaching my hair. From brownish black to Blonde. I'm buying myself a damn bikini, and a pair of glittery sunglasses. And on Monday... I will go to the public pool for the first time in years.
Just because... I can. Just because I'm going to embrace what I have. I've lost weight, I feel happy about that. Apparently I've got a nice face, so... well, I'm playing up what I have. No more loving myself vicariously.
I'm doing this, so I can feel better.
I'm doing this, so I can change.
Psycho. Groupie. Cocaine. Crazy. I'm giving my body what it deserves.
July 10th, 2009 at 01:58am