sThis is a post no one will read and no one will care but it needs to be wrote.
Yesterday I lost one of the most important person ever. His name is Jovan but most people knew him as Paco. He was 18 years old and held my hole heart. He was the one I thaught of right before I fell asleep and then my first thaught when I woke up. We dated for 10 months, and I really think he is the one. Yesterday he died in a car crash with his brother who walked away with a broken leg and some bruses. They say he died of brain trama he made it to re hosbital but didn't make it through. As I sit in this dark 18th centry house I cry. I'm here for a wedding something I want with this boy that I'll never have. Every bump or creek in this house makes me think he might be here. I feel a cold tingly sensation wrap around me it's comforting, it makes me stop crying at lest for now, I wonder if he can see me now? If he's watching me, does he know I love him? Does he knows he died holding my heart? He told his sister just weeks ago I was his everything. What does he want me to do? I can't cry forever, I won't try, I'll alwas have Alayna and my dancers. But nothing can come close to him, my heart still flutters at his name or our things we'd do together, still flutters at the names baby and angel. I was his angel now it's time for him to be mine. He's up there now with Paul joken round just being with his brother. I want him to keep my heart find the one he thinks is right hand it to him and stear him to me. Never to replace Jovan just a sub till we meet again in heaven one day. There and then we will say our vowels and be as one together now and forever. I will always remember and love you with all my shiney black sparkled heart Jovan Christopher Lara, always and forever and ever and ever.
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