"Hurts to breathe"

Have you ever loved someone so much that the thought that they aren't with you made your insides twist and hurt. Have you ever felt that it hurts to breathe when you know that you are loosing them. I feel it deep within my soul and I hate it. The thought that this person is with someone else makes anger, hate and deep rooted hurt tear me to shreds on the inside as if some horrid demon is trying to claw my heart apart from the inside. As he would say, "its just a girl flail." No its not, at least I don't think it is. He may as well be dead to me, but that ache still lingers within me. And reading a story along those same lines makes me hurt all the worse, It seems as though writing these journals is my only way to vent. As far as everyone knows where I live I'm not capable of hurting like this but I am. Oh how I hurt and have hurt before. This pain has only ever been caused by him, since I was thirteen. And just a few months ago he was mine, he was mine again A few short weeks ago. But not entirely, never entirely. I remember one night four long years ago telling him while drunk at a local punk show that he was the only one for me. I meant it, I remember that night he kissed me. It was amazing despite the fact that I was ever so inebriated. I miss him, and I love him. But he has undeniably changed like all of the ones I once cared for and befriended in those years past. And I myself have not gone without change but mine I feel was for the better. Oh my love how I miss the feel of your arms around me and the tickle of the snow hitting my face as we walked along on those first days of winter. But those days are past and I am left with this empty ache.

This sounds impossibly emo I suppose, but I needed to get this out.