Feeling down.

Dame I am so sad & depressed at the same time. Life can be such a pain and even sicking.
I am tired of searching for love and I hate marrage. I never ever want to get married ever again!
I spent allmost 10 years with a person and I feel like I wasted so many years on such a jerk.
The sad face is I just don't believe in love anymore.
I have grown tired of the heartache, the lies, the tears, the fights, for what?
Nothing....
You search for so long just for that certent person but all you end up finding is more of those that want to inflict pain on you.
I can't say or believe in love anymore or if I want to ever fall in love again.
I have grown tired of the gut renching pain in my heart.
I use to believe in many things but now I believe in nothing.
The only thing most guys want from me is sex and its not like I have sex with just anyone but I want to be more than liked because someone wants to have sex with me.
Do guys even know what they do to a girls heart?
How they shatter it into a million pieces?
When you get around my age you look back and say to yourself this is my life?
How depressing.
Why do I even continue if my life continues fall deeper into darkness?
Sometimes I just feel letting everything go and walk away from living but at the same time I don't want to give up but how when you have no stength to continue?
I am sorry for the stupid jorunal.
I feel so stupid for ever putting my heart out for anyone.
A perfect song that fits me rate now is "Frozen" by Within temptation.

Please don't be mean remember I am down rate now. Thank you.