So since I heard about Michael Jackson dying, I've been listening to his music non stop. Also to understand why I'm so devasted about it, since I was 5 or maybe 4, I've been listening to Michael Jackson and he was the reason I got into dance. So basically he taught me how to dance along with my mom. Then from then on, he became my first celebrity crush and when MTV would show this videos and have Michael Jackson week, you could guess where I would be when I got home from school or if it was during spring break. Then I never believed any of the accusations that were brought up against him. He is my idol and always will be no matter what. I always had his music in my life and loved listening to it.
First before I get into the memorial, let me take you back a bit to when I first heard about it. That Thursday I was watching some movie or show or something (I think it might've been Yes, dear) with my little bro when my dad came in from work and said that Michael Jackson had had a heart attack or gone into cardic arrest. So there I sat on the couch, my stomach in knots, praying that he was be ok. Then my dad went to the computer to check to see if there was any news on it. Then he delivered those words that made me go numb like I was in some sort of bad nightmare waiting just to wake up and it wouldn't have happened. Michael Jackson is dead. Even now as I type this my eyes are tearing up just thinking about it. So there I sat thinking to myself, it's a joke right? Maybe he'll come on or out and say "syke." But then it was on the news, everywhere, overshadowing the news of Farrah Fawcett. I still couldn't cry, I was numb, I couldn't believe that my idol who I loved dearly and never got a chance to see live was gone. Gone, no coming back.
Soon after, MTV, Vh1 and other music channels starting playing the news over and over again along with his videos that I stayed up til 3:30 in the morning watching. That's when it hit, 3:30 Friday morning, my tears fell from my eyes in a river, my sobbing uncontrollable as I realized that he wasn't coming back and that my idol was gone. That whole Friday I was in tears, hysterics, you can even ask my friends. I had gone to pick up some applications just to get out of the house and maybe stop crying but the radio was playing his music and it's the only thing I wanted to hear. Then I could control my crying for the most part driving until I heard other fans start to cry and they played "You Are Not Alone." I still can't listen to that song since it'll break me down into tears. Finally my crying hsyterics stopped for the most part when I got home just so I could calm myself.
Then came the televised memorial. They had been broadcasting it the whole and I didn't want to say goodbye with the whole. I wasn't ready, I still couldn't believe it. Then that's when I cried the whole time it was on. I cried so much that my head hurt afterwards and my nose was stuffed. Then I watched Moonwalker and I still cry at the part where Katie is saying her thing about wishing Michael would come back.
So then when I heard that Gary was having a memorial for Michael Jackson, I had to go. Mainly since it wasn't far away from me. So I went on twitter in hope that someone from a class would say they'd go with me. Then I did find a friend, Natalie, who said she'd go with me. After the whole week of thinking it over, I was glad we both finally decided on going. The whole day I was nervous/excited about getting there since I didn't know what to except. I was half expecting it to be fun but I knew I could get sad or start crying which I didn't want to feel bad or look stupid for. The ride there was fun since we got to talk about Michael, life, etc and what not. It was so much all while listening to Michael.
Then Gary itself was fun. The people were super nice there and it was fun getting to talk to all the Michael fans. It was there as we were waiting in line to get in, that Natalie got to shake Jesse Jackson's hand which was pretty cool since he did sorta kinda run us over with his group of people surrounding him but still, pretty cool. Then we all got white gloves before we entered that everyone in the crowd was wearing in honor of Michael. When I entered, we got to sign his memorial wall which that itself was just a part of history as well. Then as we waited for it to start, we talked to people, took some pictures of the one handed glove wave, impersonators, etc. Then finally when it did start at 6 pm central time, a fly over was done on his behalf which was pretty sweet :) Then a lot of speeches came up from people in which I thought they would make me cry but they were nice memories of him which made me smile.
Performers? There were lots, a ton of dance tributes in which the Thriller dance tribute that they did on stage had to be my favorite. Also the little kid who sang "Ben", it was so sweet and that kid could sing. Plus there also speeches from Jesse Jackson, Joe Jackson, and then performances by Denice Williams among others. Then by the end of everything, we all sang "We Are The World" which was super amazing since the whole stadium was singing. The whole stadium also sang along with other Michael songs that were played as videos on the TV screen or during dance routines. During the whole memorial, an image of MIchael would be on the screen of him looking down towards everyone.
It was almost like he wasn't dead that night. It's why I had so much fun. Michael's music, so many amazing fans who were nothing but nice and fun to talk to. It brought a sense of closure to me that might not have been there before even though I still feel like a huge part of me and my childhood is missing which probably won't be coming back. In the long run, it was one of the funnest memorials that I've ever been to. It wasn't about being sad that he was gone but about celebrating his life, which is exactly how it should always be.
So as I came home from the short drive back with Natalie and we talked some more about what had happened, to life, music, and everything again. I was glad to have a new good friend that I could trust as well as someone who shares something that big in common with me. I still get sad and cry about Michael when I hear certain songs, watch certain things, or really think about it. It's one of those things that I think will probably never totally heal even when people think it should. Michael was my inspiration for pretty much everything I did and to him, I tip my hat. May he rest in peace and watch over us all.
Not registered?
Create an account