watashi no kokoro...

he starts staring at me. i don't want to look back at him. Because if I look back at him, I wouldn't get my eyes away from his gaze. For he is someone so dear to me. I love him. I think I really do. This time, my heart would only beat for him..., I would want to say that I'm guessing that my heart would only belong to this man I barely know but..., I want to be certain that he would also feel the same way as I do for him. In due time... I just hope...I'm hoping and wishing... can you share the rest of your life with me...forever?

UGH! this sucks! I really don't know when this would come to reality. He's so gorgeous and cool and oh so popular with everyone in our course. Almost all the girls in our department loves him. Even the most beautiful girl in our campus wants him. How can I even compete with them? The me who lacks almost everything, even in physical features. I'm small, flat-chested, has long hair which I don't really like to fix, petite, fair complexion and ugly. Suppose I'm ugly then I would never really have a chance over them. Okey, let's not exaggerate my self much, I'm cute. But cute means, that you're ugly but there's still some beauty left in you. So, I am cute.

WHAT THE HELL AM I SAYING?!?! and because I was thinking that I would never be fit for him, I just concentrated my whole hour in school just studying. But I can't deny that I can sense that sometimes he does notice me. Yet, that can't be an intuition. He can't really notice someone if he doesn't like her or maybe he notices someone if she was just acting too clumsy and start running away with no proper reason?

WHAT? anyway, It's good that I know I like him. I love him. That's confirmed. But I don't want to be swallowed by my fantasy so it's better to control this feeling right?

Any comments? please comment on this. Thanks! (well, if there's really nothing to comment to I'm sorry to have bothered you.^^)