My life

I've been having quit a hell of a time and feeling sorry for myself as my friends shouted and screamed at me got overly aggressive and my so called best friend punched me in the face but i have come to realise that it is actaully them that need my sympathy. After all my best mate is going through some very hard times but it is not my position to tell you what that is and the person i used to use as support has abandoned me and given up on me because she wants nout to do with me and can i blame her i feel so down and low. But if that wasn't the worst i just read my friends entry into his journal about his life and he seems low to but im glad to here he sometimes feels good after all at the moment i cant feel good when deep down i know all my old friends hate me. I also wish that my oldest friend in the world would be able to put his trust in me but in actaul fact he hates me and wants me out of his life but can you blame him i have stolen betrayed his friendship and destroyed my life im not even aload to church my father wont let me i feel so low and down. I have never felt in this position before seeming to have to choose between god and family and being homless with god and having a roof and food with my family without god. I dont have a clue what is happening in my life, it seems out of control and has no direction. But i have to focus i have to be there for my friends i have to show them i have changed i cannot give in i must keep trying!