In a previous journal, I adressed an Issue I had about a year back. With a girl, a year older, who began to harass me over things such as typical 'emo' and 'scene' gloves, hair, and clothing. She claimed her style was 'original', and that my attempts to wear skinny jeans and wristbands were pathetic.
Months afterward, I suppose we made peace, and she moved away ( which I was quite happy about. ). I saw her twice after she moved, and I said little to her. We haven't fought, we've barely spoken more than twice on the social community Facebook.
Around March, her ex-boyfriend began talking to me. Jeremy. Yeah, I'll agree, he's a cool kid, quite attractive, he's... different. Safe to say I crushed on him, and he proclaimed he felt the same way. Untill a few days ago.
As my profile picture, I posted one of those "I Heart You" photos, ( the same photo thats on my Mibba Profile right now ) and tagged him - along with others, in it. Plenty of people I tagged responded affectionately, positively. Until he posted his comment.
He said I looked like her. The way she used to be. Same hair, same clothes. Everything. My stomach did backflips. For so long, I've done my best to distance myself from her. I don't look a damn thing like her. But it's hard, because her "original" style was the typical "emo chick" look. The generic girls you find on Photobucket when you search "scene" or "emo". She spiked her hair, I messed up mine. She streaked hers pink, I bleached most of mine. I tried so hard to keep myself from being tagged as her. Unfortunately... It never worked. Why? She was older. People knew her more than they knew me.
Yes, I had my friends at the time, as I do have my friends now, who defended me. But popularity provides strenght in numbers. That was my first year of Junior High, in a Junior and Senior Highschool.
Now? Jeremy's comment has sparked this conflict again, although, I don't believe Sam has anything to do with it. I hope not. She's moving very far away, across the country, to be exact. Is there really any need to make my life hell, when you'll never see me again?
I could live through Jeremy's bullshit, just forget about him. Except.. this girl I love. Her girlfriend said that I should "stop being her" and "stop disgracing Sam's style." That hurt. Although this girl doesn't know a damn thing about me, she's willing to harass.
My dear Mibba, I'm too tired of this. I understand this is highschool, but this hurts. I can't seem to trust anyone anymore.
- xoxox. lucifer.
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