How many hearts, destined to break?

I don't really even know if other people read these. Okay so, I really wanted to get this out.
This is the story of me, and my most recent ex... let's start at the beginning, shall we?
Summer 2008. It was the summer before my senior year in high school. I had been single for over a year, and was currently talking to a very nice, very smart boy named Josh. Actually, I had made out with said boy, so there was some chemistry there for awhile... but while he was away at Buckeye Boy's State, I was invited to a pool party at my friend Matt's house. I took my younger sister with me, and when we arrived, we were the only girls. Most of the boys there were all going to be juniors, except my two really good friends Eric and Korey. Most of these boys do really stupid things... I'm sure you can assume what I mean. One of these boys in particular, I had never been formally introduced to. But I knew who he was. He had done REALLY stupid stuff, and had involved Matt. And I remeber hating him, because what they had done was so bad. But, when I saw him... my heart stopped beating. It was then that I fell completely in love with him. But I never did anything about it. I went home, tried to forget him, and even started dating Josh. That was a mistake. I couldn't stop thinking about Steve, and how I felt. Finally, I had to break up with Josh because, he loved me, and I didn't even like him that much. I felt like such a bad person, but I couldn't help the way I felt. School started, and I became friends with Steve, almost dying when my sister said he liked me. I confronted him about it, and he said he only like me as a friend, but asked me to go to homecoming with him. Three days after homecoming, he asked me out, and had quit doing "stupid stuff" to be with me. I had never been in love with someone before. The feeling was incredible, and I am still, so in love with him. We dated for nine months, planning every detail to our lives. Then, a month ago, he broke up with me, saying he just wasn't in love with me anymore. My whole world came crashing down upon me, and I lost ten pounds in a month. I'm still miserable, and I wish I could hate him, because maybe then it would be easier to move on. I found out that he resumed doing "stupid stuff" shortly after breaking up with me.

My heart's broken, and the hardest part is knowing that even if we wanted to come back, I wouldn't take him back... it just wouldn't be the same. He's not MY Steve anymore. It just hurts so much, even after over a month.... I've tried everything to get over him, and I even dream about him... I just don't know what to do... I just want to heal...