Tonight, one of my favorite local bands is playing at a really small venue about half an hour from where I live. I've been planning for weeks to go, BUT that was when I thought I would have a friend to go with and a license/car to take me there.
Yep, things don't turn out the way you plan.
Turns out I can still go if I want to...but there are some drawbacks. My mom would be dropping me off, and I'd be alone.
I don't know if you've ever done it, but being alone at a concert isn't really the best thing ever. At a big show, it's fine - in fact, preferable - but at a small show? Awwwwwkward.
See, my local music scene is the type where everybody knows everybody. And then there's me. People don't really know me. And I'm not an interesting enough person for them to really want to know me. And they're not the most open people for me to just go up and talk to. Pretty much my plan at the moment is to text one of my dear friends so I'm not completely awkward and alone.
Oh God, I'm gonna be one of those kids who just stands there texting at shows.
If this was a show where there would just be a crowd to go stand in, I'd feel completely at ease. But this is going to be the kind of show where, between bands, people just part like the Red Sea. They go stand on the walls, go talk to other people, go for a drink, etc. Then there's gonna be me. Friendless, all alone, with nowhere to even stand by myself. I'm freaked.
I'm just such an awkward person. I don't handle things well. Trust me - I'd look pretty pathetic. And yeah, I do care what these people think of me. Like I said - everybody knows everybody. I don't want to be remembered as Miss Awkward-Pathetic.
I'm definitely not going to skip out on this, just because it's my favorite local band and I miss them (they're really nice guys). Plus, not gonna lie, I look cute today. Cuter than I've felt in a long time. Like I look like LIGHTS. I feel awesome. I'm not going to waste that. xD
But yeah, I just have that huge feeling that I'm going to stick out. I KNOW I'm going to have fun...but I'm just scared. Ughhhh.
...I just really need to get over myself. :P
Has anybody else been in situations like this?
going to a show by myself. not a big deal at all...just awkward.
August 7th, 2009 at 08:23pm