Changing.

Do you ever get that feeling that your kinda...boring? Okay, so that didn't come out right, what i meant was, do you ever get that feeling that your just so stupidly normal and that your life too 'typical'? You know, that your parents are happily married, your sibling is perfectly fine (though they can be a bit of a dick sometimes... that my just be my older brother, though) and your doing okay at school, you have good friends, a nice house and your not hurting for money? Don't get me wrong, it's not like i'd rather my parents split up, my brother became depressed and i ended up as a little lost girl on the streets, thats not it.

What i mean is, i don't like me personally. Because there's nothing special about me, really. I'm not super pretty, or weathly, or anything like that. (I can't be bothered to list things anymore.) And lately, i've been thinking, that there are some things about me i just don't like.

You can tell it's bad when your don't like yourself.

But don't worry, i'm not going to moan at you about how i wish my life were better or anything, i haven't got that bad (yet). I'm just going to get to the point of this whole random journal entry of mine, i'm going to change myself. Haha, that sounded so dramatic. But anyway, mostly, i want to stop getting annoyed at everything so quickly. I have a very short temper, and it's not so nice for everyone when i keep snapping at them, (although that might be hard, because some people in my school are complete idiots... shh, don't tell them i said that!) I guess i just want to be nicer, you know? I want to be liked by more people (which probably mean i should stop being quite so sarcastic too.)

I do have friends, my two best friends are amazing and i love them very much, but i do envy the way that they're able to fit in with anyone they want, they're liked by practically everyone. Sometimes i feel like other people only put up with me because i'm Ruth & Vanessa 's friend (they're my best friends, if you hadn't guessed) and it just makes me feel kinda.. left out.

Thus, me wanting to change. I'm not going to change everything about me, i mean there are some nice things. I guess you could say i'm talkative and friendly (but only with people i think can put up a good conversation otherwise i end up being...not as nice, i guess...see what the problem is?) and i do have the ability to make people laugh (normally when i'm high on suger...but then i am hyper-active the majority of the time) but i think i should probably tone down on the sarcasum.

Jesus, (when i say this out loud, my brother normally answers with "yes?" to which i reply that i'm pretty sure he's not jesus) i don't even know why i'm telling you guys. i guess i just want someone to talk to. not that any of you will be interested in my drivel, really. but it feels good to get it out. (What i mean is: it feels good to tell you that i think i'm a sarcastic bitch sometimes.) But oh well, wish me good luck on changing, okay? Because i don't even know if it's going to work...

Drop me a comment if you want, though you probably won't want to after reading all that stuff up there...oh well, i won't bite you. I promise! (: