"It Breaks My heart To See..."

Alpha PS:

1. Shyla! I’m tired of waiting!!!!!!

2. Tim(from the band June)? Why do you do such things?

3. I think I’m going to drop some of my husbands(inside joke)

4. New perspective came out! *cries* I want it!

So IE died yesterday and well, I lost my blog. I’m rewriting it now. Not that I want to but I probably should.

I usually don’t take about my home life to my friends. Most of the time, I just don’t want to worry them. But when I don’t it feels like I’m not trusting them. Not true because I’d trust them with my life.

So bad news

I’m losing my home. Seriously! My home is sinking and it’s been crushing the sewer line. Not there is a hole in the line. Now it’s coming up in the backyard. Now the puddle of shit isn’t growing in so I'm assuming:

1. it’s a small hole

2. it’s seeping into the house.

But it’s probably number two. Which the landlord could patch if he would get his ass down here! Yea sure. He’ll come (note: sarcasm). Well, if it’s coming in the house we have till winter. Cause it’ll freeze and make the hole bigger. Thus making more come into the house. Creates methane. Oh look. We heat our house with gas. Methane is flammable. Hmm I’ll get to know what its like to explode! And so will our neighbors because we live in a duplex.

So moving is an option. Which right now, I wouldn’t mind. But we can’t. We’re over $1500 behind in rent and have no money. Mom is trying to get a job. Not really working. No one wants to hire a disabled woman. And I’ve spent my summer looking for work. I must have filled out 100 applications and not one yes. All “you’re too young.”

I hate my life. I really do. Why can’t things be easy? Just once? That’s all I need.

I think Polly wants me to stay out of her life. I hinted being in her life and she ignored and left. Which from history means she doesn’t like the idea. So I guess I’ll stay out. I should have done that years ago.

Good news. I did get Shyla’s one shot done and DAMN. In one day I got 94 readers! Damn. It’s a popular subject I guess. She liked it thankfully and I need to make her a sequel cause she loved it so much.

Deadly Kiss is over but I have the sequel up on Mibba. I need to fix a few things on it though. But after that I’m posting it on quizilla. So people were rather surprised with the ending. They liked it though and I got a few banners for it.

Bitten’s sequel is coming along too. Got a new banner from a friend and I wrote a new part for it. Um…Uninvited, I uh…well, I got a page written. I’m kinda stuck on that one but not. Though I might have a part done by the end of the day.

Yup, new perspective came out and man I wish I could get it. I would love to get a copy of it. :( Though it will be a while before I can. I think Christmas is going to either rent or bills. Oh well.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling myself. I think I’m sick or something. I really don’t feel right. All my emotions are all over the place and I’m not PMSing…so I’m just trying to go with the flow of things.

God, I need to go to school and see if I can get it changed to second period. Though my mother is frowning on that and is really pist that I’m trying to change it. So I’m still mixed. Because if she finds out I change it she’s going to be SO pist.

I don’t want that.

I really don’t

I went to the Gateway and paid one of my mom’s bills. I was going to hang out with Amber too. Called her like we planned…she never picked up

I still need to give her the present I bought her anyways. So we’ll see.

So I’m listening to some music and I’m kinda zoned out. I…I don’t know any more. There is too much shit going on right now. I just am tired of things.

Why do most Tim’s I know have great eyes? Why? Cause I’m watching a video from the band June and his eyes are amazing. They’re this blue that sting. I swear! They are awesome!

Alright I need some me time. I’m going to zone out and relax for a bit. I need to figure out a bunch of things before I start to do things.

I’m also considering dropping out of school. So I can work and help out find a new house. Cause I can take stuff online or get my GED. Either way it’ll help. What do you guys think? Should I stay or drop out?

“You lie through your teeth!” –Smile in your sleep by Silverstein

“Dose myself in gasoline

So don’t save me when you come into the fire

I’d rather die then have to see your smile.

And if my lungs still let be breathe

Will you be there for me?

Id I can make myself believe

I’d give you back what you took away” Smashed To Pieces by Silverstein

-Alpha