Ari's History Lesson

Hiiiii I like DOGS. Captin Hook has tempertantrum like DANG and he's gonna do a STRIP TEASE!!!! SCANDALOUS~~~~~~~~~
Captin Hook's mustache defines the laws of physics, JUST. LIKE. ME.
Tonight I welcome you to the gallery of ... OH MY GOD KATIE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN PETER PAN ISN'T MEN IN TIGHTS!?
Okay so now this is the late-night gallery of LIES.
Because the internet is a GOLDMINE OF LIES (I said so in my 4th grade journal)
We don't approve of this movie, for it promotes butt-shaving.
But NOM NOM NOM that Peter Pan is one mighty-gay slice of younging~ ♥
except he's not a hardcore pirate.
Anywho
ON WITH THE SHOW, FOR THE SHOW MUST GO ON!!!
So way back some tiem ago, the world exploded. But we fixed it. And before that the redcoats and colonists were fighting over beard rights after the beard act of 1860. Because the colnists were furious, they shaved their beards and bought fake ones at teh store. But little did the redcoats know that sooner or later, the Reveloutionary War woudl become nothing more than a wet t-shirt contest! OH MY! But we're going to skip that, seeing as these soldiers were all men and thus, a wet t-shirt contest would be pretty aaaaaawwwwwkwaaaaardddd.
But this is around when the red coats got fed up with the colonists sorowity like fight ideas and suggested they do something more MANLY ... so they decided to have a fashion show.
Well this was pretty controversial considering the red coats wore JUST RED and the colonists wore JUST BLUE. So they converged and became PURPLE. It was here that the war ended?
Believe it?
BEST NOT.
For this is when a certain Marilyn Magalow Magna Marrlow Mishap made her merry little way to the local Wendys.
I should mention. The red coats code name was M 2 da 5th and the colonists were known as Wendys. See the connection between these names?
If you did it's kinda too bad it's irrelevent, because it would've made for a great story.