Broken...

How do I say goodbye to someone I never really had? Why do my tears fall so endlessly for someone who was never really mine? Why is it I miss someone I was never really with? And why do I love someone whose love was never really mine? - Anonymous.

...I'm sorry for not updating. I don't think I'll be updating for a while... I can't possibly tell you how I feel right now... played, used, dissapointed???
I wish I could just be okay again... it'll take a while...... but it's to be expected i suppose.
When your best friends tells you he never saw you differently despite all the flirting and the moves and everything... and when he knew you liked him but he didn't even try to push you away..... instead he tried to bring you closer.... what would you feel?
I never want to see his face again... ever. And I'm going to tell him that... I'd rather he never talked to me again. He didn't even have the guts to tell me he didn't see me that way... so why should I pretend it's ok? Why should I pretend I'm fine for somebody who didn't think about me at all? Why pretend what he did, didn't hurt me? Well. I'm done with pretending.
I don't think I really loved him... I don't feel broken in that sense...
I feel betrayed... would a best friend behave that way? The answer's <No>. And that's why it hurts...

Oh and I forgot to mention... the guy I <love> with all my heart? Yeah... well let's just say I'll have him only in my wildest dreams...

So my love life's pretty much hell... I know I shouldn't let it get to me but I can't help it... so sorry for the lack of updates...

~Ria~